Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
