I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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