her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
