He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
