I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
