I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
