belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
