Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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