I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
