I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
