Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
