you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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