There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
