Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
