Old men and throwing up are my life now.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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