my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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