can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
