i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
