...so i touched it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
