i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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