Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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