Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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