pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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