Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize