i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
