i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
