he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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