I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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