First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She's the barista slut.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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