just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
