Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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