Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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