Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
