i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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