i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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