she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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