wrigley field is MILF paradise
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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