My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
