i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
