hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We need a shit load of segways right now
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
