if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
