There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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