im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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