put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
