I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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