D3 body, D1 cock
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
