i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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