he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
