Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
