there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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