Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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