Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Acid is not a monday night drug
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
