A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
