hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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