Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
