Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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