Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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