I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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