Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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