did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
