I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
