So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
