By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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